24 August 2015

The Great Earwig Massacre of 2015: A Cottage by Lake Erie

We spent our summer vacation in Ontario, Canada this year. We decided to split our time at a cottage by Lake Erie and at a flat in Toronto to give ourselves a nice combination of country and cosmopolitan.

The first week kept us by Lake Erie. We spent some great time with family, and since the cottage had a private beach right on the lake, the kids had a lot of fun playing in the water or running around the yard. There were huge trees all around, we took the canoe out on the lake and explored around a few bends of the shoreline, we could see turkey vultures gliding on the breeze, we could listen to the gentle sound of waves on the shore in the evening, and the mosquitoes didn't actually seem too attracted to us.

Sounds idyllic, no?

A photo posted by Ace Callahan (@arcbcrafts) on

And for 98% of our time on the lake, I would say yes.

But as it turns out, this damp, cool region is heaven... for earwigs.

Our first run in with the pincer-butt demons of nightmares occurred the morning after having left Little Man's swim trucks on the back of a lawn chair to dry overnight. Mark handed the trunks over and an earwig fell out. Figuring that was the end of it, Mark told Little Man to pop them on. He refused, white faced and saying there were still bugs in there. A quick shake of the trunks knocked 5 more out, and we started to realize how conniving these bugs are.

From that point on, we only came across a single earwig here and there.

Until we left the canoe on the grass.

As it turns out, the metal lip around the top of a Plexiglas canoe is an IDEAL hiding spot for earwigs. Those little buggers had jammed themselves up and into that metal lip, so that when the canoe was tipped right-side up to carry it down to the lake, earwigs started spilling down the sides of the canoe and into the bottom of the canoe, where Little Man would be sitting and our bare feet would be resting.

Now, if you've ever had the misfortune to Google "earwig" you would probably have the same reaction that we did. (Note: If you want to sleep tonight - or this week - DO NOT GOOGLE EARWIGS) For about half an hour, the neighboring cottages could hear the non-rhythmic slapping of flipflops and sneakers on canoe as we tried to kill the flood of earwigs. That in itself was bad enough, but slapping the canoe with shoes caused more earwigs to fall loose.

All told, we killed over 60 earwigs in the canoe. A few others were allowed to escape so they would warn the others to stay away.

And THAT was how we spent our summer vacation.

At least in part.

Do you have a crazy summer vacation story? 


  1. My husbands family is from the other side of Lake Erie (Erie, PA) and we were there this summer and had our own run in with these little bugs.. but they are NOTHING compared to the crazy spiders that are everywhere here in the Netherlands! We've just moved here and there are so many of them everywhere I look! I've googled them enough to know that they are all harmless but boy do they look scary!

  2. How I Got My Blank ATM Card And Became Weathy...

    I'am Elizabeth Russ, me and my husband are here to testify about how we use Shawn Pablo ATM black card to make money and also have our own business today. Go get your blank ATM card today and be among the lucky ones. This PROGRAMMED blank ATM card is capable of hacking into any ATM machine, anywhere in the world. It has really changed our life for good and now we can say we are rich and we can never be poor again. You can withdraw the maximum of $ 10,000 daily We can proudly say our business is doing fine and we have up to 20,000 000 (20 millions dollars in our account) Is not illegal, there is no risk of being caught because it has been programmed in such a way that it is not traceable, it also has a technique that makes it impossible for the CCTV to detect you.. For details and cost on how to get yours today, email the hackers on: fastatmhackers@gmail.com

  3. By reading this article I get a lot of lessons and this is very useful . cara menggugurkan kandungan

  4. I got my already programmed and blanked ATM card to withdraw the maximum of $5,500 daily for a maximum of 6 years. I am so happy about this because i got mine last week and I have used it to get more then $350,000 and ready to pay more. United Hackers is giving out the card just to help the poor and needy though it is illegal but it is something nice is not like other scam pretending to have the blank ATM cards. And no one gets caught when using the card.
    Email : unitedblankatmhackcard@gmail.com


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...